High-Functioning Burnout
High-Functioning Burnout
What is Looks Like (and What You Can Do About It)
You have probably heard of burnout - the traditional burnout where you crash, cry, breakdown and are forced to take a break.
But what about burnout where you are still functioning? You still turn up to work, cook healthy meals, reply to messages and smile on the school run?
That's what makes high-functioning burnout difficult to spot and often difficult to talk about.
As a coach who works with overwhelmed women, I see this all the time, women who look calm and capable but who are running on empty behind the scenes.
What is high-functioning burnout?
High-functioning burnout happens when you are still acting how you always have on the outside - but on the inside you are exhausted, detached and feel like everything could fall apart at any moment.
You're coping with life, but not living it.
Signs you might be dealing with high-functioning burnout.
You might be experiencing high-functioning burnout if:
You feel numb most of the time, but snap over small things
You same "i'm fine" when asked, but every day you are counting down to bedtime
You are constantly doing but not feeling emotions
You can't remember the last time you did something just for you
You feel guilty resting unless everything is done - which it never is
You feel disconnected from yourself, like a version or "you" is missing
You are praised for being calm, efficient and dependable - but no one sees how hard it is to hold it all together,
This type of burnout isn't dramatic. It looks like over-functioning and perfectionism. It is often accompanies by quiet resentment and sleep that doesn't leave you feeling rested.
How to start healing
You might have noticed your exhaustion and booked a spa day hoping to feel better, but although you had a nice time, you still feel exhausted. That's because high-functioning burnout goes deeper, its a nervous system and emotional load issue.
The biggest thing that will help you heal with gentle and consistent support. You don't need to make huge changes, but you do need to start reconnecting with yourself regularly.
Here's where to begin:
Acknowledge that your stress is valid - just because you aren't in crisis doesn't mean you aren't struggling. You don't need to be falling apart for be deserving of support.
Start listening to your body - your body knows how you are feeling before you do. Notice when you feel tension in your body (pay particular attention to your jaw and shoulders), are you skipping meals or pushing through something that doesn't make you feel good. Listen to the information your body is giving you.
Do one thing daily that's just for you - even if you give yourself just 5 minutes a day to listen to your music (not your kids choice), try journalling, meditating or a walk that you enjoy. This tells your body that you know you matter as well.
Become present - even for a short time makes a difference - instead of scrolling on your phone, stare into space, take in the world around you. Instead of multi-tasking, just wait for the kettle to boil. So much creativity and inspiration can come from those moments of "boredom" - don't underestimate the power of boredom.
Seek support - find a non-judgemental space where someone can hold space for you. Not to fix you, just to hear you and reflect back to you what is really going on.
Why coaching can help
When you are used to being the "one who copes" seeking help, especially when you aren't in crisis can be incredibly difficult. Coaching is different to other forms of therapy in that we don't look to fix an issue, we find ways to move forward and gentle changes that can get you back in alignment with yourself,
Coaching offers a gentle space to:
Talk about what is going on - beyond the to do list
Reconnect with your values, energy and self
Shift from survival mode into calm and clear
Feel supported - without having to perform for anyone
What's next
If this post resonated with you, I invite you to take a small step today - just for you. No more pretending you are fine, you don't need to fix everything alone.
Your Quiet Comeback
My 1:1 coaching experience offers a really gentle way for women who are quietly burning out to start reconnecting with themselves. Find out more here.
